Goal Setting Through My Son’s Eyes

I actually wrote this 3 years ago, it’s long, but it still rings true today…

I taught my four year old son how to draw a turkey, by tracing his hand. You remember how to do this, don’t you? Make the thumb into the turkey’s head, (don’t forget the little “hanging thingy”) and turn the fingers into tail feathers. Granted, I had to remind him that turkeys only have two legs. Tommy decided he would decorate our staircase with turkeys-one per step. We went together, and counted the stairs. “I need to make 14 turkeys!” he said “That’s a-yot!”

We went to the calendar and counted how many days there were until Thanksgiving. Seven-perfect! I decided to teach Tommy a lesson in goal setting. I explained to him that we could break it down, and he could do two turkeys every day until he had all 14 done. He made the first two, colored the feathers blue, cut them out, and immediately taped each to the spindles of the first two steps. The next day, he announced that he was going to make three turkeys that day, to get them done faster.

Tommy sat down to draw his three turkeys, but got frustrated rather quickly when the turkey wasn’t turning out the way he wanted it to. We worked together to trace his hand, and I had to draw the “hangy thingy” on each. He colored them, and cut one out, but when he cut the head off of the second one he threw everything on the table, and wanted to quit! I gave him some encouragement, and he cut out the third turkey. We put those two on the stairs, and I reassured him that he met the “daily goal” we had set. That was day two of seven.

On day three, I asked him about making his turkey decorations, and he said “I’ll do them later.” He was busy playing with his Batmans and never gave it another thought. Nor did he think about making turkeys on days four and five.

Now granted, I could have just let it go, and not brought up the Turkey goal again. But, I’m a Mom. I thought it would be so cute to have Tommy’s turkeys decorating our staircase. He was so enthusiastic about it when he came up with the idea. So, on day six (the day before Thanksgiving) I brought the subject up again. I reminded him that the next day was Thanksgiving, and asked how many turkeys he had made. He went to the stairs and counted the four turkeys, then asked how many more he had to make. When I told him he had 10 more to make, he rolled his eyes and said, “That’s going to take me forever!” And so, we have four turkeys on our stairs. Tommy didn’t reach his goal; however, he did rationalize it with “Well, I’m four, and I made four turkeys! ”

My reason for sharing this story is, as I was going through this process with my son, I thought about how any of us may be when it comes to setting goals. Was Tommy’s goal realistic? Are yours? If he has worked towards his goal a little bit each day, he would have achieved his goal-one that he thought was “a-yot!” when he thought about the total sum. If you set a realistic goal-are you working a little bit towards it each day? Tommy got frustrated at his first set back, and needed my encouragement to keep going. How do you handle setbacks, or the obstacles in your way of obtaining a goal? Do you have a support base, a way to get encouragement when you need it? When he didn’t work on his goal for a couple of days, he was completely overwhelmed with the amount of work he would need to do-10 turkeys in two days instead of five. He quit, and found a way to be okay with the progress he did make. I was just glad he didn’t have a meltdown about it.

What happens when you don’t reach your goals? You have to decide how you are going to react. Instead of quitting-find a way to be satisfied with what you have accomplished. You’re hopefully further along than you were; however, don’t stop there. Follow-up on your results. Go back, look at the realism of your goal, if you did everything you intended to do. Revise your goal, make adjustments as needed-but never, ever give up!

I’m keeping the turkeys, and this story for Tommy’s scrapbook. They are the first turkeys he’s ever drawn! I’ll have the memory of teaching him how to do it, and the look on his face when he saw how the first one came together. Boy, did I feel smart! I’m keeping this memory, and revising my goals! What a rewarding experience!

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Tags: goals