Do I really want to admit this? Thing is I know that I am not alone in the way I’ve been feeling lately. Many I know have been there before, and I’m sure there are many who have been there, just never admitted it.

At the end of 2009 –
I went into December with my tank half full. Got done what I felt needed to be done, but didn’t put any extra effort into my work online. Thoughts of “the ideal holiday”, plus theories that I wanted to put to the test (like trying a new type of gas) didn’t quite have the results I expected. Because of that I left my tank less than a quarter of the way full. Then it got really cold, and my tank froze and my drive wouldn’t start. Really, right after Christmas it got deep freeze cold here! lol But honestly I took the week after Christmas off from any real efforts online (stayed on top of email, etc., did what had to be done – so not completely away).

Have I confused anyone yet?

Start of 2010 –
Had to thaw out my drive to get it started. I’ve spent the first month of this year reflecting on where things went last year with my websites, businesses and the blown theories. See, I had 2 weeks of guest posts to cover the holidays. It was great to have the content there, but it also lessened my motivation with that site. I’m finding I’m not good at having things fully automated. That may be a downfall, definitely a control issue, but if I’m not actively working it, to me the personal side of it is gone. I forget about the automated stuff – again something I know can be corrected with a little planning.

So, here I am looking at February. Ran the tank dry with household health issues. By the way, has anyone determined yet who takes care of Mom when she, AND the kids are sick? We are all healthy now, I’ve got a fresh tank of gas and my drive is almost back to normal! I rode it out, spent the time I didn’t feel like being online to focus with paper and pen (always my fallback, but it’s fail safe!).

Here’s the catch…I’m still trying to figure out how to jump back into the race! Seems some obstacles may have to be removed from the track, get them out of my way! Talking about domain names that may have to go, websites that are going nowhere that may have to be scrapped, streamlining. A play on “my plate is too full” I’m finding the more I have to do, the less gas I’ve got for my drive. Too much drag.

Forgive the analogy, just the way I have been able to look at it myself.

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When do you decide that your efforts are all for naught? When the company starts lagging on sending out commission checks?  When they change their business structure?  When they change the name, and tell anyone who the old company owed money to that they need to contact their attorney to file a claim?  When they say that they are under new ownership, yet a knowledgable person finds out that the only thing that has changed is the name?  When they sensor their blog comments all of a sudden because they are being called on the carpet for all of the lies?  When you discover that your new “Referral” page contains misdirected links so that even if someone wanted to shop with you, or join you under the new company name – the company has made it next to impossible for them to do that. OR is it when you go to use up the last $13 in coupons that you have and get an error message everytime you go to place the order?

How in good conscience can one continue to promote that company – despite the products?  How does one know that the products are actually going to be sent out – esp. when orders can’t even be completed?  How can I be enthusiastic about the products when I now how the company is floundering behind the scenes?

The internal conversations I’ve had with myself, the online conversations I’ve had with other former consultants, and my online support system have all lead me to this answer…

The loyalty, promoting, believing in with blind faith – it all ends here.  Final word is coming down the pipe and it’s only a matter of time.

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For me, there was a slight loss of income – but that isn’t what bothered me as much as the loss of direction that MY scrapbook business was taking. I’ve had to sit back and wait for the dust to settle at TLC – I think it finally has. There was also a lot of thinking that I had to do as far as what I wanted to do with my relationship with TLC.

Before any of the changes had been announced, I had been thinking about leaving TLC. I was frustrated with the company and what seemed to be a lack of opportunity to promote it as a scrapbook business opportunity. Red flags had been flying, and I had taken steps to sever my ties with them (cashed in coupons and credits) – and I was basically just sitting on the fence about making my decision to resign my Consultantship. Then TLC did it for me with their announcement!

Funny thing is that I’ve decided to stay with TLC, as a Buyer’s Club member, and this is why…

1. I have spent the last 2.5+ years building a website, blog for marketing, and promoting Top Line Creations (primarily online). My ScrappinWAHM site will need some adjusting, but my Journal blog will keep going as it has – highlighting all of the great products that TLC has to offer!
2. I still have the opportunity to earn some income from Referral bonuses and commissions from purchases made through our new TLC Shops. Here’s mine – http://www.mytlcshop.com/lhaugh – all of which plays nicely into my online marketing business plan! Actually this new model fits my online efforts better than the old Direct Sales model did.
3. Honestly-I’m too busy with everything I do on and offline to try and “reinvent the wheel” – LOL! So how’s that for a reason?? I addressed this some in a post at ScrappinWAHM’s Journal “So I’ve Been Thinking…“, and in a way I defended my position as well.

And so I move on, because I really like lemonade, and to be honest with you I think I’ve come up with a recipe to suit my tastes, just fine!

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